Sunday, June 22, 2014

To Women and Girls

Alfred Stevens (Belgian, 1823-1906) ~ Girl Looking in the Mirror by msmandrake on Pictify

It may seem like I've been gone from the blogging world but in all honesty I've just been blogging elsewhere. But today I have something to say and no better place to say it then right here at the Drop.

To Women and Girls (and to guys if applicable too):

Putting yourself down or criticizing yourself does not show humility.

I think our culture has gotten so afraid of the appearance of vanity or narcissism that we have over-compensated.

As the song lyrics say: "You don't know you’re beautiful.  That's what makes you beautiful." It's a great sentiment, of course, intended to mean that when a girl is beautiful and humble, it's a lovely combination. However most beautiful girls aren't blind. What if they do know it? Does that make them less beautiful? I digress.

If a girl knows she's beautiful, it can be a stunning thing! Confidence is a gorgeous glowing trait that should be embraced! After all, loving yourself is the key to feeling loved and giving love!

Nothing is more annoying to me then a beautiful girl putting herself down in some vain attempt to seem humble. When did it become attractive or acceptable for us to point out meager imperfections in ourselves?

It's an all too common scene: A girl with her friend points out how she hates her thighs and how her friend has better thighs. Her friend responds by first denying the claim (of course! She can't agree!), then pointing out some other (insignificant) thing about herself that she thinks is equally "not good enough" while complimenting her friend in a similar fashion.

They put each other down as they attempt to build each other up. It's nuts. Somehow they think they are doing each other a favor, showing humility, or even being cute. Girls! It's not cute.

Realistically these girls can see they are beautiful. It's the reason they put on make-up and do their hair for hours until they are satisfied in the morning. But something about that satisfaction makes them feel uncomfortable. They can't feel satisfied with themselves! Oh no! That would mean...!!!

Horrified to think they could be vain or narcissistic, they start looking for something to criticize.

Looking beautiful and knowing it doesn't make you vain. Vanity is exactly what you are doing when you compare yourself to someone else.  It's looking at another person and trying to be better, or worse.

Humility is embracing that you are beautiful in your own unique beautiful way, and other people are too. It's seeing others' beauty and admiring or complimenting without jealousy. It's loving who you are inside and out, and treating others that way too. It's ok to love yourself!

So next time a friend puts herself down, don't join in, tell her to zip it and challenge her to find something positive to say about herself.
And next time someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Tired Mom vs Super Dad

 You know, I was going to post about how much I needed a vacation and how I took my friend out to a movie and pedicure for her birthday (so I could have a movie and a pedicure...I know, aren't I the best friend?  Don't you love me?), and came home to an overwhelmed Daddy...but then I got a little annoyed at the pictures I was trying to find for this post.

Here's the humorous pictures I liked to describe me as a stay-at-home mom:

 I hadn't posted a while so I thought I'd assure you all that, yes, I can still write...and still read too!
But I've been busy doing the mommy thing, and the newspaper-writing/reporter thing, and the teaching thing, and the neighborly thing, and the wifely thing, and the friendly thing, and the spirituality thing, and the security thing, and the housekeeping thing....

...I didn't go anywhere for the holidays this year.

You know, staying home with just the people I see every day... was nice.  Really it was!
 I was able to have a New Years party at home with a couple neighbor friends, and that was nice.

 But now it's the end of January and my skin has began to crawl.  Spring fever came a little early this year.

Of course, after going out for a day with my friend, I felt all rejuvenated and ready to concur the world of dirty underpants hidden behind my couch, then I came home to...

*imagine here a picture of an overwhelmed, tired daddy laying on a couch, and I swear his eye was twitching*

Yeah...I couldn't find a picture that could come close to catching that vision.
I know you're probably thinking something like this...
 But what I'd like to think a little about is how I found all of these pictures of daddies.  They were either depicted as frustrated or out-of-place looking dads.

 Or dads that are look adorably happy in an immaculately clean house.

Or cleaning the house cheerfully like he's singing with the seven dwarves.

Or sleeping peacefully...and these came somewhat close to what I was looking for, I admit.

 Or just plain superhero-like because that's what stay-at-home Dads are.  They are superhero fathers reaching out of the norm and saving mankind with their selflessness!

 Now...there are photos of supermoms out there, yes.  But somehow I am sorta under impressed with what is available to depict how overwhelmed some stay-at-home dads probably feel.  It's not that much different from the way stay-at-home moms feel!

I'm sure sometimes stay-at-home dads look like this:

I do realize this is a minority we are talking about and everything, but I thought I'd just point out the overwhelming positive depiction for them compared to all the humorous puns directed at "the tired moms".  Give us a little credit.

I know I have bags under my eyes sometimes, but I can still look pretty and smile at my baby sometimes too.

And I guess men who love and care for their kids in a photograph is "awe" worthy because it's just such a rarely seen thing in our culture for men to be loving unselfish creatures in main-stream media.  That really should happen more often.  It would definitely help me with raising my three little boys to have more emotional capacity then the goldfish they killed.

But the emotional well-being of boys is probably enough of a soap-box topic to come up with an entirely different post, so for now I'll just say this:

Dads get tired too.  I know they are cute, but they get tired too.

And this:

Moms can look beautiful once in a while.

Monday, November 25, 2013

All in a Day

For the sake of everyone's sanity I am putting on Monkey's Christmas (what my kids like to call our Curious George holiday movie) and so I can have a writing break.

I don't know how other people do this but I think for me, I have a selective memory about things that happen in the day, so I don't lose my mind at my children after all the insane things they have done all day long.  Jimmy gets home and asks me what I did today...and I honestly have to wrack my brain to remember the reason why I'm so tired.

Like dipping the fuzzy kitty toy in the toilet.
Or spreading rice cereal all over the kitchen floor.
Or marking up the walls with crayon...or worse, Sharpie.
Or jumping on my piano! (AHHH!)
 Or dropping and throwing eggs on the floor
Or cracking the password on my iPhone.
Or clogging the bathroom sink with toilet paper
Or flooding the bathroom floor.
Or climbing the counters to get into crackers or cookies.
Or throwing the newly folded clean laundry all over the living room and down the stairs.
Or ripping the wrapping paper off the newly wrapped presents for my distant family members.
Or crunching every last hand-made clay pendant I've made into tiny little dust specks and drenching the rest in water...

*sniff*  That last one finally got me.

This is just a day in the life of me, mom of three boys, and the last one's sense of humor throws me a whole new curve-ball about things.

I am not usually one to complain.

But I just found out today that the adorable (free!) black and white fuzz-ball of a (free!) puppy that I was looking into as a possible (free!) Christmas present to myself this year (well...from the hubs...if he could get past his qualms) that was going to get fixed (for free!) on the first week of December and have (free!) socialization and training classes... the puppy I met on Saturday and let tug on my sweater sleeve and growl and hop around me wanting to play, and flopped over in satisfaction when I scratched his ear....  Well...he's not free anymore.  And another family is interested.  And the hubs wasn't completely sold even when he was going to be free. I cried.  And I tearfully had to kiss my hopes on that subject good bye.  I had crumpled even before my pendents got smashed into powdery smitherines.


But I can try to make myself feel better.  After a day like today, would I really want to add to my daily chaos by adding the possibility of:

dog droppings next to the toddler ones on my carpet
or cooresponding puddles, for that matter
or more ripped up stuffed animals, paper, toilet paper, underwear, or other items of clothing or belongings
or another mouth to feed
another pair of eyes to ask, whine, or beg me for something...
...happy, hairy, ball of fuzz, with tiny needle-like teeth to chew my fingertips...


I HAVE accomplished something today!
I have!
I did the dishes today!
I picked up and straightened the living room and the boys bedrooms, and...drum room!  The most neglected in the entire house!!!  (psst: including my closet!)
I did a couple loads of laundry, folded some (Twice!) and put away one of them! The other is in the dryer and it just beeped so I'm going to tackle it after this post is done.
I wrapped the presents for my distant family members today!  Twice!
I picked up my son from school *almost* on time!
I'm writing a blog post on the Daily Drop today! (Something I haven't done's seee......maybe I should think about a blog name change....)
I've kept my kids off the tv until JUST NOW!  :)


So...let's call today a success.  I'd say give me some chocolate, but honestly...I already have broken out some...
...Mmm....But today could someone bring me this guy instead?


Thursday, October 3, 2013


I have a child that won't keep his clothes on.  He runs when I try to get him dressed and throws everything off the first chance he can get.  I've succeeded in keeping him dressed on occasion when I can successfully involve him in some other activity that keeps his attention long enough for him to forget about it.  Then, about an hour later he strips.

Some people would say, well he's potty training right?  Well, that's a good way to potty train.  This may be true with some children, but this child in particular doesn't like being wet so he will remember to take his pants off to go, therefore will think about where he is a little more and often make it to the potty when he takes his clothes off.  It also gives me a little warning when I see him taking off his clothes.  But if he doesn't have pants on then who cares where he goes!  It's just easy to go anywhere (and this includes the solids...EEEWW!)

...You know.  In some cultures nudity is not a problem at all.  It's normal.

Who decided we have to wear clothes?  It is altogether a big pain.  We are in an age where we are constantly eliminating things that are not absolutely necessary.  We've invented so many things to just save a couple minutes.

The washing machine... Put the clothes in and they clean themselves while you go eat some chocolate.

The Drive-thru... Who wants to spend the time to walk in? Got no time for that!

The Swiffer... Why fill up a bucket when I can spray the floor with a little finger action on my mop?
swiffer products vs traditional cleaning tools

So why wear clothes?  Just think of all the time that is taken up in the morning after we shower just in getting ready for the day!  I could probably get so much more done in a day if I just didn't bother with it all.  Let's protest.  Anyone brave enough to come, meet me in the city park without clothes so we can protest clothes.  Any takers?

Well...I can't do it alone....

Maybe the idea of "clothes" all comes from a big conspiracy to take our money.  That's a million dollar idea right there.  Maybe we should make a rule that it's against society if you don't buy a piece of chocolate every day.  :)  Then I'll sell some and I'll make big bucks.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Cleaned Up a Little Vomit Lately?

So guess what I've been doing the past little while.  I don't know why but it seems we have been getting sick so much ever since the holiday season this year.  It gets a little better and then something else hits again.

I use essential oils so it's curbed some of the problems, but we are just not escaping it!  Is my house a germ pit?  Maybe it is.

Sore throats and fevers, strep in a child and then in both parents, runny noses and fevers again, and guess what happened today?

That's right...throw up.  A headache and fever and then suddenly it was everywhere.  All over me, all over the couch, all over the floor and down the hall to the bathroom.

 A part of me wants to throw every piece of furniture in the house onto the lawn and rip out the carpets and sanitize everything.  For now, I've used soap and wet towels and sprinkled baking soda everywhere...and I feel like we are only beginning.

My diffuser stopped working too.  Nice timing.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Picking Myself Up for Tomorrow

Sometimes I catch myself thinking how I didn't know what being a mom was going to entail.  Before motherhood I thought of being a mom in the way a little girl thinks about holding her baby doll and feeding it.  But motherhood is a dang lot more then that.  Because that baby grows up and every new stage brings a new challenge.

As I learn how to handle tantrums,  drama,  anxieties and fears,  growth spurts,  accidental messes,  deliberate messes,  and changing appetites,  I know there is only going to be more... and then I wonder what the heck I've done.  Am I really a good enough mom to be put into this position?  I marvel that this is what all these ladies have done since the beginning of time and I shake my head that humans still survive.

Who am I to know how to make sure my kids get the nutrients they really need to thrive and be healthy when I struggle doing this for myself?  Am I really cut out for this?  Well,  whether I am or not there it is. Too late now! I had a baby and now I have to deal with the child it became, and the children he is bringing up to compliment his every bad habit of echoing my own faults as well. Because his brothers watch him more then me.
My son shouts at me and his father in his impatience and I think to myself, "Oh... please don't act like me." Because I know he's only mirroring behavior he's been shown and I kick myself for not showing him there are better ways to communicate feelings because I am so bad at it myself.  How can a child be expected to "just grow up" and be able to deal with his feelings when the adult is allowed to throw fits like a two year old? There is only room for one child in this family!  How dare the baby decide it's going to steal that role!  Right. Something doesn't seem right about that,  does it?

Yet that's how it is.  I guess growing up is something we really do all our lives and even though I am "Mom" now,  I'm still growing.  You might be thinking "You should have been done growing up before having kids!"  How irresponsible of me, right?  But when would that be?  And really,  the experience being a parent is enough to grow anyone,  even if they thought they were done growing.  Because it's a different ballgame when you have kids.  Suddenly the years speed forward so fast as you watch this child's entire life before your eyes and you are thinking,  "Hey! Slow down a minute so I can teach you something right first!  Give me time to figure out how to say this correctly or show you how things really are!"  But there's no slowing down and instead we are left with the child learning most everything by our mistakes and our examples. (Our bad examples.)  And suddenly we look down at their precious little innocent face and see what we have done.  My child has become a terrible echo of myself.

How can I reverse this and teach him that his parroting of me is a mistake?  How can I show him that he's following and idolizing someone imperfect? That he has to stop because he doesn't really want to be me.  Not really.  I cried in church yesterday because they talked of how you should never speak  disrespectfully to your spouse in front of the kids and I know how horribly guilty I am.  My kids do it now because I do it.  It's a terrible thing to see them disrespect their father knowing it's my fault.  It's just another example of why I feel unfit.

I have to keep telling myself every day "I can do this." And repeat it over and over.  I need to keep trying because no one else is going to take the reins of my family and even though I'm doing it wrong at least I am doing something and all I can hope for is somewhere I have done something right.  I know I screw up more then I should.  I need to focus on my one little word from last year again.  Whisper.  I need to show my kids yelling is not the right way to talk to those you love.  I need to do it now before my kids turn into disrespectful punks.
I didn't know so much of parenting is really about what I am doing with my life,  how I am spending my time,  how I am speaking and acting. Because that's what my kids are learning. They don't hear what I'm saying to them,  they only hear how I say it. Then they don't follow my instructions,  they follow me.  So instead of trying so hard to teach them before they grow up,  I would do much better in focusing on myself while they grow up watching.

I can speak about what's right until I'm hoarse but until I do it,  they won't understand a word.
Once again I ask myself am I cut out for this?  Then I answer,  well I gotta be.  Too much is at stake for me to accept that I'm not.  So instead I say,  "I can do this.  I can do this.  I. Can.  Do. This. "
Then I have a bit of a cry,  a piece of chocolate,  and vow to do better tomorrow.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Crying Over Spilled Milk

handwriting blackboard writings - It's no use crying over spilt milk Stock Photo - 12981289


This morning I woke up to my two-year-old carrying a half gallon of milk with no lid into my bedroom.  He was hungry of course.  I walk into the living room in my zombie-state to see a huge patch of white in the middle of the carpet, already soaked in.

Good morning, Mom.

Me, being the homemaker queen of the year, called my husband first to complain...but luckily for the both of us he didn't answer.  So I called my Mom for help.  How do I clean this up?  She helped me.  Or I would have then probably turned to this website.   Which I may still do, if my mother's methods don't measure up.  But mom is usually fool-proof.

I luckily own a wet/dry shop vacuum.  So that was my first go-to.  Then I proceeded to dump more water of the milk and soak it up with pressure on a big old wad of towels, and more vacuuming.  So far, so good.

If it stinks later, I'll go into the baking soda and lemon and all that crap.

For now, this is what I'm going to do.  I simply don't have the time otherwise.  But after searching the web a bit, I found something to be grateful for about this experience.
At least I'm not this Mom.

 And this is another thing to be grateful for:
At least it wasn't this kind of milk...

I think I have some chocolate stashed somewhere around here....


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